Rage Of The Day

I have something I have to get off my chest. It's kind of a big deal to me. Every time it happens, a little piece of me dies. I rage and rage internally about it, but I've yet to see anyone here blink an eye. Nothing. It's common practice. So Australia, let me state this loud and clear for the bogans in the back: Never, ever put chicken fingers in rice and seaweed and then call it sushi.

This is an affront to generations of men who spent hours at their fathers' sides, learning how to find the best fish and cut them in to the tastiest of bite-sized morsels with knife skills that would make a butcher weep. (Or at least this is how I imagine sushi came about...) And to think that you're an island nation, with some ridiculous proportion of the population living somewhere on a coast, surrounded by oceans full of fish, and the best you can do is a chicken finger? Worse yet, you pretend it's worldly and call it a "chicken schnitzel roll." I can't even begin to describe what's wrong with that. It's like a Volksyota, or something.

The whole point of sushi is that it isn't cooked, and it involves fish and/or crustaceans. (Okay, yes, the rice is cooked.) Chickens are animals that belong in noodle dishes or grilled in sweet soya sauce on a skewer (yakitori). They don't cozy up to rice and seaweed like long-lost friends.

And thus was my position on Australia's sushi industry: crap. Until I went to New Zealand.

New Zealand did something even worse: they cooked the tuna. And probably mixed it with mayo. Then they made a roll out of it. I could have hung my head in hands and wept. Aren't you Oceania nations closer to Japan than Canada? What is the point of being an island nation if you are going to put chicken in? Why are you cooking the tuna? I know it's not because you are scared of raw fish because I also had a piece of raw tuna on my plate. Why, why, why?

This is definitely the worse thing to happen to sushi since the Ontario government tried to bring in regulations that would require freezing sushi fish before serving.

Thank you all for letting me get it off my chest. It really does fill me with rage every single time. And if any Toronto friends could courier me some unagi maki from Sushi On Bloor, I would be eternally grateful.