Bellemare's Field Guide to Australian Bird Calls

If it sounds like: a whaaat whaaat whaaaat whuuuh huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh. At top volume.
Then it's an: Australian Raven.

If it sounds like: a monkey screaming wildly over and over, or the insane laugh of a mad chipmunk scientist.
Then it's a: Laughing Kookaburra.

If it sounds like: as my friend Kelsey puts it, "a screaming pterodactyl coming to get me." I also like to describe them as screeching Ringwraiths of Doom.
Then it's a: Sulphur-Crested Cockatoo.

It if sounds like: bunch of rusty springs squeaking loudly together.
Then it's a: pack of Rainbow Lorikeets.

If it sounds like: a cute guy whistling at you. Or as Kelsey says, "I don't know what it is but that bird preys on my vanity."
Then it's a: Pied Currawong.

A Rainy Manly Morning

I borrowed my roommate's camera and I managed to get a few nice shots this morning before the battery died.
Although I knew that hibiscus flowers curled up at night, I guess they also curl up in the rain? They were only just opening when I snapped shot above, and I think it was because the rain had slowed to a drizzle.

Where I Live

I've been having trouble with my camera lately. When I turn it on, it the lens doesn't extend and the screen goes black and displays an E18 error. A quick Google revealed this is a common flaw in Canon cameras and may be because there is grit or sand in the lens. Well, big fat check on that one, I've got so much sand in everything I own I'm surprised it isn't coming out my ears. (Actually it is...)
But it's high time I posted some pictures of where I'm living. So in the grand tradition of the internet, I am going to rip off pictures from other websites.
I found a beauty at the Manly Chamber of Commerce site, of the skinny part of the Manly peninsula. The close side is the Manly Wharf, where you can catch the ferry to Sydney. The far side (closer to the top of the photo) is the beach that faces the open ocean. The restaurant where I work is located a bit farther left, I think it may be just cut off at the edge of the photo. I walk along the beach every day to work.

Awesome Things I have Seen on Aussie TV

-On a game show similar to Jeopardy, the pointing girl is showing off a television the show is giving away as a prize. Only the host of the show has put up a picture of his baby on the telly, and he says, "Can we get a close-up on those cheeks?"

-A reporter goes to interview a woman who's had quads, triplets and a single kid. The kids run up, take his shoe off, then his sock, and then one of them bites him on the toe. He jumps around yelling and hobbles out of the room, in real, obvious pain.

-A woman host on Today Tonight asks Terri Irwin (the widow of the Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin) about the night Bindi (their daughter) was conceived. Quote: "Didn't you say it was the best seven minutes of your life?"

-Instead of the normal shoulder graphic behind the host that you usually see on TV news, Today Tonight uses the ENTIRE screen. So, you get a wall of planes flying behind the anchor while she's talking.

-In a commercial for impotence drugs, two men take off their pants and play the piano with their penises. The audience applauds loudly.

Why Australians Drink Beer

Because a when a bottle of vodka sets you back $38, you're going to look for other options.

Australia

Things to Know about Australia include:

1. Abbreviate everything you possibly can. Why use two syllables when one will do? For example, on my way home from the airport I saw a sign that read "Happy Birthday Tones!" Because, you know, Tony is a long name and wears on the tongue.

2. Supré is the Suzy Shier/Stitches/H&M/Sirens all rolled into one, but with way more fluoro (fluorescent, see #1). The 80s are making a comback in a big way. Want a tiered, ruffled, white skirt with neon pink, green and yellow paint spatters? Head to Supré. High-waisted purple shorts with mini-suspenders? Supré again, my friend. Now if I could only get someone to explain to me why an Aussie store has a French name I'd be all set.

3. Sticker shock. Someone told me before I went that it's expensive to get to Australia, but once you're there, everything is cheap. So, when was the last time you saw a four-pack of toothbrushes on sale for eleven dollars? These are Europe prices, people. But then again, in a country where serving jobs pay you in the double-digits, perhaps this is to be expected.

4. Random, random, random. A bogan is a hick, a hubbard is a nerd, a gumby is a person who is clumsy, a bin is a garbage can, a battler is a little guy who fights hard (applied variously to Silverchair back when they were 14 and a kid working hard at school and not having much success). I'm probably not even getting these quite right.