What I Did For My Birthday

Yesterday I turned twenty-four. I was woken up by my flatmates singing Happy Birthday.
They burst into my room with pancakes covered in maple syrup, coffee and a big gold box. Inside that box was an Australian flag towel, bikini and beer cozy. I have tested out the bikini in the saltwater pool below our apartment, but I opted to leave the towel at home in case I was mistaken for an overly patriotic citizen and recruited to work on a sheep station or worse, attend an entire cricket match. Tomorrow I will test out the towel with a regular bikini.

Later on in the evening we celebrated by going to the Steyne hotel to have some beer. (Yes, it is pronounced "stain." And no one seems to find it funny, but these are the same people who have named a beach "North Steyne", so there you go. Mr. Steyne must've been a popular guy.) Along with our beer, we had some meat. Actually not just some, but quite a lot. When self-professed carnivores need to pause because they are getting the meat sweats, well, you know there was a lot of meat. I myself opted for the beef burger, which was more of a three-pounds-of-beef burger, served with onion, tomato, cheese, lettuce and sliced beets. Yes, they put beets on burgers here. Not sure about that one either.

To entertain us while we stumbled through all that flesh, we competed in the bar trivia contest. This consisted of trying to answer many questions about random celebrities, name songs based on random snippets, and identify people in photos that we may or may not know. Even for someone who watches a lot of American television, I thought the match was a bit skewed towards North America. Anyway, our table came third and so we won twenty dollars in bar vouchers. Which, like a good Canadian, I made us spend on Canadian Club.

My friend Kelsey also gave me a towel, a big beautiful thick beach towel, which she said was to discourage me from using hers. She's a smart cookie that one, because she has the Rolls Royces of beach towels, and they are awfully tempting. And just so I don't roast myself while testing out new towels and cossies (Aussie for bathing suit) she gave me a sweet fuschia slap bracelet watch. Friends and roommates beware! You just might get slapped! The late 80s are back!

The tip of the evening had to be the cake, though. Again, the lovely Kiwis, fond of an inside joke, gave me a chocolate cake with white icing that read "How's the Serenity?" For those of you who have not seen The Castle, let me enlighten you.
The movie is about a typical Australian family, a bit on the hick side of life, who are trying to save their house from being torn down to make room for another runway at the Melbourne airport. The father of the family is well-meaning, but a bit lost. He likes to take his family up to his little get-away he calls Bonny Dune, which of course, is quite a dump. While sitting on the porch one night with his family, who are being defeaned by the zzzzzt of the bug-zapper, he turns and asks them, "How's the serenity?" in all seriousness. Apparently The Castle is to Australians as Bob and Doug are to Canadians, so it was all quite fitting.

And that was my birthday in Oz.

The View From the New Place

Okay, so I'm keeping up my tradition of stealing photos from other websites. I got this one off of a real estate agent's site, but I can't remember which one. This is essentially the view from my balcony off the living room. The two headlands in the distance are the North and South heads of Port Jackson, which is the official name of Sydney's harbour. Beyond that is the open Pacific. Ferries cut across from where you see the apartment building on the left of the photo to the gap between the south head and the closer point on the right side of the photo. There aren't so many sailboats lately, it's been rainy and stormy.

Shout-outs to the Roommates

I moving into a new place on Thursday, an apartment with views of the Sydney Harbour.
I will be living with three Kiwis (New Zealanders), who have been asking me how come I'm not writing about them on my blog. So, in honor of our new place, I will introduce you to my new flatmates.

1.
Name: Jane
Alias: Dewey Decimal or DeeDee for short. This is Australia, remember. Abbr.
Occupation: Librarian
Interests: I don't know all of Jane's interests yet, but she has good taste in music, clothes and books. I think we are off to a good start. For example, she likes Douglas Coupland novels, and has awesome sunglasses. She brings home copies of Vice Magazine.
Plus, she can speak Japanese.

Jane is a vegetarian, and she makes a killer bowl of noodles.

2.
Name: James
Alias: Alpina
Occupation: Acoustical engineer
Interests: Alpinas. I direct your attention to this quote gleaned from the Alpina company website:
"To build special automobiles for a small circle of cognoscenti, for people who have a taste for exclusivity and the finer things in life, and who aren’t in need of exhibitionist exterior presentation in their automobile."

James has a fabulous collection of sneakers, lots of books about other cars, and a shiny silver pin depicting a DeLorean with the doors open. (The same type of car from Back to The Future.)

James is also my New Zealand vocal coach. I'm not a very good student, because I still sound very Canadian.

3.
Name: Will
Alias: Posh Lawyer
Occupation: Media lawyer
Interests: Surfing, contracts, a nice glass of scotch. Will may also be taking a ski trip (or it may be snowboarding, I can't remember that part) to a remote region of India. The brochure cautions that there may be land mines and head-high wire in some areas. We are understandably concerned on his behalf about this detail. I think we should try to urge him back in the direction of Whistler, don't you think? (Yay, Motherland!)

Will says that when I imitate his accent I sound like Mary Poppins.

Bellemare's Field Guide to Australian Bird Calls

If it sounds like: a whaaat whaaat whaaaat whuuuh huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh. At top volume.
Then it's an: Australian Raven.

If it sounds like: a monkey screaming wildly over and over, or the insane laugh of a mad chipmunk scientist.
Then it's a: Laughing Kookaburra.

If it sounds like: as my friend Kelsey puts it, "a screaming pterodactyl coming to get me." I also like to describe them as screeching Ringwraiths of Doom.
Then it's a: Sulphur-Crested Cockatoo.

It if sounds like: bunch of rusty springs squeaking loudly together.
Then it's a: pack of Rainbow Lorikeets.

If it sounds like: a cute guy whistling at you. Or as Kelsey says, "I don't know what it is but that bird preys on my vanity."
Then it's a: Pied Currawong.

A Rainy Manly Morning

I borrowed my roommate's camera and I managed to get a few nice shots this morning before the battery died.
Although I knew that hibiscus flowers curled up at night, I guess they also curl up in the rain? They were only just opening when I snapped shot above, and I think it was because the rain had slowed to a drizzle.

Where I Live

I've been having trouble with my camera lately. When I turn it on, it the lens doesn't extend and the screen goes black and displays an E18 error. A quick Google revealed this is a common flaw in Canon cameras and may be because there is grit or sand in the lens. Well, big fat check on that one, I've got so much sand in everything I own I'm surprised it isn't coming out my ears. (Actually it is...)
But it's high time I posted some pictures of where I'm living. So in the grand tradition of the internet, I am going to rip off pictures from other websites.
I found a beauty at the Manly Chamber of Commerce site, of the skinny part of the Manly peninsula. The close side is the Manly Wharf, where you can catch the ferry to Sydney. The far side (closer to the top of the photo) is the beach that faces the open ocean. The restaurant where I work is located a bit farther left, I think it may be just cut off at the edge of the photo. I walk along the beach every day to work.

Awesome Things I have Seen on Aussie TV

-On a game show similar to Jeopardy, the pointing girl is showing off a television the show is giving away as a prize. Only the host of the show has put up a picture of his baby on the telly, and he says, "Can we get a close-up on those cheeks?"

-A reporter goes to interview a woman who's had quads, triplets and a single kid. The kids run up, take his shoe off, then his sock, and then one of them bites him on the toe. He jumps around yelling and hobbles out of the room, in real, obvious pain.

-A woman host on Today Tonight asks Terri Irwin (the widow of the Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin) about the night Bindi (their daughter) was conceived. Quote: "Didn't you say it was the best seven minutes of your life?"

-Instead of the normal shoulder graphic behind the host that you usually see on TV news, Today Tonight uses the ENTIRE screen. So, you get a wall of planes flying behind the anchor while she's talking.

-In a commercial for impotence drugs, two men take off their pants and play the piano with their penises. The audience applauds loudly.

Why Australians Drink Beer

Because a when a bottle of vodka sets you back $38, you're going to look for other options.

Australia

Things to Know about Australia include:

1. Abbreviate everything you possibly can. Why use two syllables when one will do? For example, on my way home from the airport I saw a sign that read "Happy Birthday Tones!" Because, you know, Tony is a long name and wears on the tongue.

2. Supré is the Suzy Shier/Stitches/H&M/Sirens all rolled into one, but with way more fluoro (fluorescent, see #1). The 80s are making a comback in a big way. Want a tiered, ruffled, white skirt with neon pink, green and yellow paint spatters? Head to Supré. High-waisted purple shorts with mini-suspenders? Supré again, my friend. Now if I could only get someone to explain to me why an Aussie store has a French name I'd be all set.

3. Sticker shock. Someone told me before I went that it's expensive to get to Australia, but once you're there, everything is cheap. So, when was the last time you saw a four-pack of toothbrushes on sale for eleven dollars? These are Europe prices, people. But then again, in a country where serving jobs pay you in the double-digits, perhaps this is to be expected.

4. Random, random, random. A bogan is a hick, a hubbard is a nerd, a gumby is a person who is clumsy, a bin is a garbage can, a battler is a little guy who fights hard (applied variously to Silverchair back when they were 14 and a kid working hard at school and not having much success). I'm probably not even getting these quite right.

Barcelona

This is the view from my hostel window common room. It looks onto the Plaza Reial. It's full of people at all hours of the night and day, packed with restaurants, clubs and cafes. Around three in the morning, the police come and stand around while the street cleaners hose it down.

The plaza is also famous for containing two street lamps that are the first public work Gaudi did. I'll get some pictures up a bit later.

The Trains in Spain are Mainly a Pain.

The first sign that things were not going to go so well was that my train was due to depart in fifteen minutes and the departure platform still hadn't been posted on the departure board. I was waiting for a train from Valencia to Barcelona, departing at 12 noon and they were still showing trains that had left at 9:47 and 10:38. Spain takes a relaxed approach to its train system.

After clearing the x-ray machine (At a train station? Really? Are you even looking at what's in my bag, mister? You missed the corkscrew, the nail clippers and the pocket knife, just so you know) I took the escalator down to the platform. And just to be clear, there is one escalator to the platform. No stairs. And about two hundred people wanting to get to the train. No bottleneck whatsoever.

So I got to the platform. And waited. And waited. I think the train was about 15 minutes late, but it could've been closer to twenty. I don't know, I think I passed out from the boredom.

Then everyone began pushing like mad to get on, only for some reason my compartment contained people who couldn't seem to get past the door. Never mind that the rest of the carriage is empty, these people want to hover. Look people, my seat is down at the other end, and there is one door for this carriage so I have to get past you to sit down. Then I get down there, look up and realize there is no way my bag will fit on the luggage rack, plus I would have to stand on the seat to get it up there. I have to haul my bag back down to the other end of the carriage and force it into a rack there. (Where's a nice French luggage rack when you need it?)

Finally I get to sit down. That's when I discover something that usually isn't a problem for me: there is absolutely no leg room. I'm 157cm or 5 ft, 2in and I couldn't move anywhere. And it's going to be another 3 hours of this. Sigh. I listen for the announcement telling me that I'll be in Valencia, but it doesn't come. In fact, I couldn't hear them announce Valencia as our final destination at any point during the trip until we actually pulled into the city. I thought I was going to end up in some town in the middle of nowhere. At least I'd be able to get off of the train.

Luckily I was able to sleep most of the rest of the time, and thus bring my journey to an end more quickly. Off the train, into the hostel, done.

But don't even get me started on the reservation system.

Best Mates

It seems that Barcelona and Blogger don't get along. I can't get any pictures to load, despite trying for a few days. So I'm going to write a text-only post today. The blog equivalent of doing phoner interview on TV. Here goes:

So far, at every hostel I've been at, there have been Aussies, at least a few, generally a lot. And we always have the same conversation which goes something like this:

Me: Where you from?
Them: Australia, X City. Where you from?
Me: I'm from Toronto, Canada but really I was born in the middle of nowhere.
Them: Oh cool. I like Canadians/Canada/dated a Canadian once/worked at a ski resort/want to go soon/was there and can't wait to go back.
Me: That's cool, I like Australia. I'm going to be living there this winter, I mean your summer. I'm really excited!
Them: Oh yeah, you're going to have a great time. Canadians and Australians get along real well, I reckon. We're like best friends.
Me: Yeah we have the same sense of humour. And with every Australian I meet, we talk about how Canadians and Australians get on so well.
Them: It's because you're not Americans.

Then we drink some beer, and talk about which wild animals in our respective countries have attacked who and when. Last night it was cougars vs. sharks. Sometimes it's bears vs. jellyfish. But in terms of poisonous creatures, Australia still wins hands down.

What I did for Thanksgiving

As Thanksgiving is a North American holiday, I had a distinct lack of invitations to turkey dinners this past weekend. No perogies, no ham, no dressing and no pumpkin pie. Not even un peu du poulet avec des patates.
So without an eight-thousand course dinner to sit down to, I had a bit of time on my hands. "What to do, what to do?" I wondered to myself. Then it hit me. I had been in Paris for four days already and I still had not gone to the most obvious tourist attraction on Earth. It was time to acquaint myself with Le Tour Eiffel.

Riding a Bike to the Beach

This video is from my trip to the beach two days ago with Jason and two lovely Aussies that we met in Nice. We rented bikes from the tourism office for two euros for the day and headed off with only a map of downtown and a vague sense of which way south was to guide us. We ended up first at a Maison De Vins, and being hot and thirsty despite the fact we had only been riding for about twenty minutes, we decided to stop and have a wine tasting.
After purchasing two bottles we continued on our way, first across a highway overpass, then down a rutted trail through bamboo along the side of a canal and finally to a paved path through salt marshes. On one side of the trail there were pink flamingos grazing in the marshes, and on the other were rows of sailboats lining the length of the canal.
The quality of the light is really fantastic and I hope the glow shows in the videos and pictures. If I were a filmmaker or photographer you couldn`t get me to stop shooting when it looks that pretty.

France: Either or Or

Before travelling to France, I heard horror story after horror story about rude French people, that they're impossible, refuse to speak to you in French even if you have addressed them so and generally wish you didn't exist.
Let me correct this fallacy: only half of all French people are like this. The other half are brilliant, kind, funny and sweet. Like the gentleman who runs the crepe place up the street from my hostel in Montpellier, who discusses his favorite movie actors with us, and talked about the French author Marcel Pagnol who he says really stirs the emotions. He was absolutely lovely.

Compare him to the wait staff we had at a cafe this afternoon. My friend went to get change for a twenty and the the woman behind the counter said they had no change, and perhaps he should try to find a little cafe that could help him. My friend was understandably confused, seeing as we were AT A LITTLE CAFE. Then the waiter refused to give us change for the twenty, and had the gall to tell me that in France NO ONE USES A FIVE EURO BILL. EVER. French people only use tens or twenties. Nothing else. It should be noted he said this while waving around the only five euro bill he happened to have in my face.

So, we did the only reasonable thing, and paid the bill in one, two and five cent pieces, because he obviously needed some change.

France really is either terrifc or terrible. Nothing in between.

This is a photo from the beach in Nice. Even though it's almost October, there were tons of planes arriving, bringing more tourists. The beach itself was mostly small pebbles but there were two man-made sandy spots. The only problem with the sand is that it was extremely windy, so all my stuff was filled with sand by the end of the day. The waves were high and it was a bit cold, not really swimming weather. The other problem with Nice is the construction. They are ripping up all the roads in the downtown so it takes forever to get anywhere. We were suprised to find they were laying down new tracks for...you guessed it...a streetcar line. Just like Toronto. Le plus ca change, le plus c'est la meme chose.

Rays

I took the photo of the tank of rays below at the Genoa aquarium. You have to lean in over the fake rocks to touch them, and there are all sorts of signs about touching softly for a short time instead of a "long caress." When the rays swim, they either stay flat, under the water, or they tilt their bodies upwards and their front parts (noses?) come out and they look as thought they are sniffing. It's quite interesting to watch. You can see one of the rays in the bottom right of the picture doing just that.

Venice, Long Overdue

The above photo is from shop on the island of Murano in Venice. If you click on it, it will open as a larger photo in another window. I'm trying to get more photos up, but not having much luck.

Video Glut!

I have finally been able to get a free internet connection, so I'm going to be putting up a whole bunch of videos. The oldest videos are at the top, starting with Venice.

Gondola rides are overrated. They cost around 70 euro for an hour and they are slow and boring. I think after you watch this video you will agree. I didn't make it longer so as not to prolong the pain.



The best way to see Venice is by waterbus. You can get everywhere quickly and cheaply, but you get to see all of Venice, instead of simply a small part.



This video is from the aquarium in Genoa, the biggest in all of Europe. They have dolphins, rays, sharks, seals, penguins and piranhas.

Expensive Internet!

I have some great videos from a boat ride in Venice and of Florence at night and even some seals from the aquarium here in Genoa, but I can't find any cheap internet to upload video. Hopefully the next hostel in France will be better.

I'm also going to post a picture of the rays I got to pet at the aquarium and some dolphin videos.

Giosa's Bar

Every once in a while you run into a real character. Today, I ran into Giosa. His bar is a tent on the side of a canal in Venice, close to the train terminal. We were looking for a drink before the bus came, and Giosa was more than happy to provide us with cold ones. I must say, the ability to have a beer on the street is one area in which Europe has got North American trumped.

Giosa also sells chips (mind the dust on the bag), candy, beer, Bacardi coolers and wine. You can buy wine by the glass, as long as you don't mind that your glass is actually a plastic cup. Giosa likes to play loud Italian music, and he knows the words, so sometimes he sings along.

In case you were wondering what type of fellow Giosa really is, let me give you an example:



He's also quite proud of his bar. So proud that he hung up a caldendar on his bar with a picture of his bar on it. Please note the bar is in the bottom right side of the photo.



And if you wondered to yourself, "Self, where do you think Giosa goes when he needs to urinate? His bar doesn't look big enough for a toliet, and he must work long hours. How does he get away when he needs to?"

Well, you can stop wondering. Giosa goes in the canal behind the stairs.

Ciao! Sono Spiderman!

I really like comics so it was a big treat to come across a Spiderman exhibit while exploring the Roman ruins yesterday. (And it was free!) I hadn't realized that Spiderman was so popular in Italy, but it makes sense considering that in Europe and Asia comics are not considered solely the domain of kids and nerds who live in their parents' basements. It turns out that the exhibit was part of Rome's Notte Bianca and they even projected a spiderweb on the side of the Colosseum. Back to the exhibit: there were examples of noted Italian artists who had drawn Spidey, a giant upside down Spidey in the centre of the room (kisses anyone?) and a collection of action figures. Aside from the comics, the exhibit also had different versions of the Spiderman theme playing, like the metal version and the bossa nova version. So, in order to get a better feel for it, I think you should hum the theme tune while you look at the rest of the pics.

Some of the old classic covers. I think Spiderman made his debut in Italy around 1970.

One wall was dedicated entirely to social and cultural issues. In this example Mary Jane is clearly determined to overcome the evil that is smoking.

These panels deal with eating disorders. I don't know about you but those last few panels before the hospital bed are terrifying.

Spidey goes to 'Nam.

Spiderman, Wolverine and Cyclops help the NYPD and NYFD find survivors in the wreckage of the World Trade Center.

Lemon Lemon

I can't believe I almost forgot to post this. Last night we went for a nice dinner nearby and had a craving for gelati after. And as we were discussing getting up to find a gelateria the server came by with a dessert menu. And on that menu was a lemon gelato served in half of a giant lemon. There was also a coconut gelato served in a half coconut shell. I only tried the lemon, but was it ever good!

As promised here is a short video of the beautiful pizza available at Solo Pizza across the street. Three euros will get you a piece of pizza about 8 inches by 8 inches. Note the massive amounts of bocconcini on the second pizza. I will be testing it out later today.

Rome! and PIZZA!

Quick update people; there's a resto nearby that sells an entire pizza for three euros. A full size pizza. I'm going to go and order one and take a quick video of it. YUM!

Rome is warm and cloudy.

What Could Go Wrong.

-Kangaroo/vehicle negative interaction
-Deep vein thrombosis
-Jet lag
-Mugging
-Airline loses luggage
-Fellow hosteler steals luggage
-Motion sickness
-Bed bugs get into luggage and on self
-Terrorist attack
-Malaria
-Forest fires
-Severe drought (Australia mostly)
-Existential angst (France)
-Monsoons
-Gastrointestinal chaos

-Jellyfish sting

I prepared this handy little list of potential calamities after noticing a sinister trend. It seems like something bad is happening in every place I want to visit. Let me give you an example: I planned to fly to Greece, land in Athens and travel by train to Olympia. Well, Olympia nearly burned to the ground so I had to change my flight. Now, things are back to normal. But I can't afford to change my flight again.

Let me give you another example : My travel friend suggested we head to Ravenna, a small Italian town on the eastern coast on the country nearish to Vienna. Lo and behold did Ravenna fall prey to a mosquito-borne virus called Chikungunya, a disease previously not found outside India, Africa and Asia.

It sounds quite pleasant according to the National Travel Health Network (bolded terms my own):

"Initial symptoms of CHIKV infection include a sudden onset of severe arthralgias and myalgias, accompanied by fever, headache and conjunctivitis. Joint involvement is usually symmetrical, affects the extremities and can result in swelling, pain, redness and limitation of movement. A maculopapular rash involving primarily the trunk can occur concurrently with defervescence. Illness usually resolves over three to five days. Most patients recover fully over a period of a few weeks, although 5 - 10% of patients will experience chronic joint pain, stiffness and swelling that can persist."

Despite protests from said travel companion, who also mentioned something about Ravenna's historical reputation as a town surrounded by malarial swamps, I have decided to skip the achy joints and conjunctivitis. I want my souvenirs of Italy to be postcards and expensive leather sandals.

First Post!

Hello all,
I've finally joined the blogosphere. Like some wise friends before me, I've decided to detail my travels online instead of in mass-emailings. This also allows me to embed videos and photos, which as we all know, are often the most interesting parts of blogs.

Some of you may be wondering about the name. Lacking the financial resources to create my own TV station, and lacking the technical skill to create an awesome multi-media website from scratch, I decided on the next best thing: a words-and-video blog. I hope you enjoy it.